If i come over, it means nothing
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
