yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
