Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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