How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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