Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
