And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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