we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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