How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize