Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
