I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
