Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
