So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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