She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
