I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
