did you get engaged???
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
