So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
