My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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