just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
