ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
