the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
