And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
