Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize