Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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