she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
