I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
