how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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