Three words: puerto rican gang bang
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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