he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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