doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
