RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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