You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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