Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
