"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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