I hate all girls vehemently.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
