Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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