Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
