in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
