party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
