this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
