That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
