Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize