I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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