Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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