so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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