I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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