He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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