yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
