So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
