I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
