We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You don't make any sense
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