Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
