Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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