you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All I want is dick and wine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
