What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
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seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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