shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
