I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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