when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
