He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
