Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
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Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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