Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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