its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sext me about skeletons
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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